Mary Tidlund: Risk, Recovery & Reinvention

Feb 22

**Mary Tidlund**

**Entrepreneur, Philanthropist, Author**

We started the interview with Mary explaining her experience meeting Dalai Lama, who demonstrates the values of compassion, love, understanding, and respect. Mary describes her busy childhood in her adopted home, which she shared with her 45 siblings (yes, 45!)

Mary explained her rock bottom moment as losing the oil and gas company she helped build from the bottom up. Going bankrupt became one of her biggest and hardest business and life lesson. She recalled the pain of losing her identity, laying off people, and losing what she had created.

Trust starts by trusting yourself. Mary explains why it is important for leaders to embrace their journey to see how they got where they're and build the confidence to move forward. The way you can trust yourself is by taking small risks and embracing feedback mechanisms as you become stronger.

Listen on: Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Overcast | Spotify | RSS

The Executive Commute Podcast with Jayson Krause: Show Notes

Risk, Recovery & Reinvention

Bio: Mary Tidlund

Mary co-founded and was President and CEO of numerous corporations including Williston Wildcatters Oil Corporation a public oil and gas exploration and service company that pioneered horizontal drilling.

In 1998 Mary transitioned from the energy industry to philanthropy and founded and operated The Mary A. Tidlund Charitable Foundation, a global not-for-profit that worked in 29 countries with 90 programs for 19 years focusing on empowering women and children to make lasting changes in health, education, and the alleviation of poverty. She is a past Director with Women Moving Millions and Tostan International and a current director with NYC-based Grace Institute Foundation and Dallas, Texas-based public corporations Valhi Inc. and CompX International Inc. In addition to her current board governance work Mary is the author of Memoirs of a Wildcat: Unadoptable, Unstoppable, Unconditional Love and is an inspiring public speaker.

Part 1: The Early Days

Quotes

“Diversity is an asset- the more diverse the group the stronger the network is between you.”
“Love is one of the most powerful things that you can be given as a child to help you move forward in life.”
“I was always stepping into environments that are not the norm.”
“It took a while to figure out that not everyone had the same upbringing that I did, or the scale of diversity to accept people just for who they were.”
“But I didn’t consider that he was a man and I was a woman, or my color, I just wanted to do that job.”

Summary

Mary recalled the lessons she learned from her adoptive parents, which were the power of diversity and love. Her perspective on the context of philanthropy was broadened- which is the ability to show kindness, listening skills, understanding, and learning from people who don’t look like her or act like her. These qualities helped Mary relate to others both in school and as an adult.

Mary credited her entrepreneurial spirit to genes from her biological parents and having grown up in a small town. She built many small businesses, which also allowed her to support other people. Mary dove into the topic of stereotypes that happened outside of her home- she found it challenging that most people didn’t have the same diverse view as her. She believes it was her confidence as a kid that allowed her to navigate through the stereotype.

She went on to become a landman and never once considered it a ‘man’ job. It was the willingness and ability to learn she exhibited that allowed her to step into her role, plus the challenges she experienced being a woman in a man’s world. Mary explains her need for meeting her biological parents and how that happened. She was always fueled by courage and having the right support.

Timeline

[3:14] Mary’s experience meeting the Dalai Lama and the lessons she learned.
[4:58] She described the diverse and philanthropic childhood she had in her adoptive home.
[6:18] The lessons of love, diversity, and philanthropy that her parents taught her.
[11:21] She explained why she was labeled ‘unadoptable’ as a kid.
[14:17] Mary explained where her entrepreneurial spirit originated from.
[15:36] The stereotypes she experienced as a person of color and how she navigated through it.
[18:35] Why she chose a career as a landman plus the challenges she faced in that role.
[21:10] The courage of meeting her parents and starting a successful business later.

Part 2: Hitting Rock Bottom

Quotes:

“Have some really strong financial controls in place and know the people that are managing your finances and understand it.”
“I found that the most effective philanthropy is when you can meet who you’re working with at the level they are at.”
“No matter where we worked in the world, when it comes down to it, we are all the same.”
“Everyone would like to help someone else.”
“When you’re really being true, people can feel it, and they can hear it, and they want to follow you.”

Summary

Mary explained her rock bottom moment as losing the oil and gas company she helped build from the bottom up. Going bankrupt became one of her biggest and hardest business and life lessons. She recalled the pain of losing her identity, laying off people, and losing what she had created.

Mary described how she turned around and looked for positives in the negative to move forward. She used her skills in raising money and traveling to put programs together and started giving back. Mary dove into the topic of what she would have done differently given the chance to be a CEO of her company again. She advised young CEOs to learn and understand their company’s financial management and managers to avoid going bankrupt while leading fast-paced companies.

The challenge of coming from a privileged society is being able to understand that philanthropy is about meeting people where they are and not where you want. Mary learned to groom volunteers to handle life where they were taking philanthropy and when they came back to their lives. She learned to give to the donors an equal exchange of what they were giving by getting them engaged in the philanthropic programs. She learned to listen and meet people where they are to navigate other cultures and help where she could.

Philanthropy involves asking for help and Mary found out that people like to help others and feel connected, so she provided a safe space for people to do that. Leaders find it challenging to manage people and navigate ideas. They should therefore employ practices like meditation for quiet time to focus and be grounded. It is important to stay centered and authentic to keep growing with your business and values.

To become an authentic leader, you have to find what brings you joy, identify the values of that, and follow it.

Timeline:

[2:31] Mary defines losing her company to bankruptcy as her lowest moment as a leader.
[3:52] She describes the painful moments of losing not only her identity but also her creation.
[5:12] How to turn lessons from the negative and make things positive.
[8:16] The importance of learning and understanding your company’s financial management.
[9:29] The lessons Mary learned about equality through her philanthropic work.
[12:36] Mary explains how she learned to navigate different cultures and meet people where they were.
[15:35] How to create a safe environment for people to help others.
[16:39] The challenges Mary experiences as a leader and how she finds her quiet time.
[18:42] The importance of meditation in keeping you centered and authentic in your business.
[21:19] How Mary has followed pieces that bring her joy to be a better leader.

Part 3: Diverse & Innovative Leadership+ The Future+ A Rapid-Fire Question Session - Coming Soon

Trust starts by trusting yourself. Mary explains why it is important for leaders to embrace their journey to see how they got where they are and build the confidence to move forward. The way you can trust yourself is by taking small risks and embracing feedback mechanisms as you become stronger. Mary explained how you can identify your fears and how you hit them head-on.

Mary shared how she and her business partners fostered an entrepreneurial spirit by deciding what their values and risk levels were to be innovative. We all love routine, but trying new things and associating with different people will help you build diversity. She believes it is by relating to innovative people and reading that you explore how to be innovative and identify if it’s what you want or not.

She defined purposeful leadership as the ability to help and support others to become leaders. She shared her hopes for the future as being able to lead her life with joy. COVID-19 is shaking the world, and it is in this situation that people are connecting more than ever before, even with social distancing.

In the end, Mary faced my rapid-fire questions. Here she answered quick questions with one sentence honestly and some surprising answers. Thank you for listening to this 3-part interview that’s filled with true-life lessons!

Episode Timeline:

[2:59] The importance of trusting yourself as a leader by taking small risks.
[6:04] How to embrace feedback mechanisms by identifying your fears as a leader.
[10:37] Mary explains how to build diversity and explore innovation.
[15:30] She defined purposeful leadership and draws a map of how she wants her future to look like.
[20:10] Mary answered some rapid-fire questions.

Quotes:

“Triggers are markers in your life when you achieve something - people reinstate that.”
“Fear is false evidence appearing real.”
“To build diversity, start doing things that you don’t normally do and be with people that you’re not normally with.”
“The most inspiring thing is that we’re connecting in a different way with each other, which brings more authenticity to those connections.”
“Risk takes courage, trust, and confidence.”
“To actually bring diversity into your life is really easy to do by having small conversations with people.”